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acceptance
November 2008 
"I'm Happy for Him, Mom"
Posted on Apr 11th, 2007
by 
Teenie~Dakini
Teenie~Dakini
As I sat on the couch this morning, braiding my 7 year old's hair for school, we talked about how this evening she and her sister would be seeing their dad for dinner (we call it Daddy Daughter Date night). We chatted about how it had been 6 days since they had seen him since he was out-of-town with business as well as visiting his girlfriend. Trinity casually says "I'm happy for him, Mom". I breathe.... and ask, "Do you want to tell me why you are happy for him, Honey?" She replies, "Because he is creating the life he wants."
..... Unbelievable! The wide-open heart and understanding and thinking of her Dad first.... I'm wow'ed, and humbled. Because this generosity and love is from the same child who has recently had frequent nightmares, trouble focusing, insecurities, frustrations, great sadness, questions like "where do I fit in?" .... Although she has experienced great loss and now calls her dad, her Part-time Dad, she realizes that he is good at it and that he is doing what he wants. And here she is, gracefully embracing and gifting Acceptance! I'm honored to be her mum....
I gratefully adore the "dance" with my children- for better or worse- its an exquisite journey of inter-development, sharing and love!
Access: PublicTagged with: children, resilience, divorce, acceptance, gratitude, heart, compassion, WE, parenting, daughter, dad
Thank you for sharing this…it must be incredibly challenging. I just finished reading Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt. Her basic premise is that there's no such thing as a “good divorce.” She says divorce harms children for the rest of their lives; it turns them into “little adults” who anxiously protect their fragile parents, instead of being protected, the way they are in “intact” families. As a child of divorce, I can completely relate to the book. As a parent contemplating painful, difficult decisions, it gives me a lot to think about.
Michael,
I *LOVE* Between 2 Worlds! I have been telling friends/family and anyone else about it for over a year now. Since it was clear that my divorce was inevitable, I still use it as a guide for understanding, compassion and mindful action with regards to my daughters long-term well-being (our legacy).
Sounds like we have some stuff we could talk about ;-) xo
Some of our wisest teachers are loaned to us and we call them children. Sometimes what seems like wisdom is simply maturity too soon gained in someone who should only worry if rain will interrupt outdoor playtime. You do have one of the toughest jobs ahead of you Stacy. Bless you, your girls and I wish you all the grace you can reap from God's bestowal.
Stacy,
I love what you wrote and agree that Between 2 Worlds can serve as a useful guide to navigating the emotional currents of divorce and its impact on children. I think we should start a pod for divorced parents, parents contemplating divorce, and children of divorce. I would definitely love to chat.
Take care,
Michael
The love and acceptance I recieve from my son (turning 9 in two weeks) is nothing short of divine. Being a “Part-time dad” can be tough at times. The whole situation can be tough for all involved. However, at the heart of the hurt and chaos, there is an enormous opportunity to grow spiritually.
It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job guiding your daughters.
I want to share with you all a little something I wrote two weeks ago about my own divorce, who became final about two weeks ago. You can find it here.
Hello Eduardo!
Great to hear from you and your blog “My Marriage Went to Heaven” is amazing and you both are an inspiration! What great fortune your children have as they journey on the ever winding path. Thanks for sharing! (and stay in touch ;-)
~ Stacy
Dear Stacy,
I am glad to hear of another parent who strives to keep good relations and clear communication with their children and ex(s); this can truly be a challenge well worth the battle. My son, now 25, never knew his father and I to live together. He always knew us to love each other and work together to offer him everything and anything he needed, and wonders why all his divorced friends parents did not get along.
Keep up the good work mom.