::  a sampling of their poetic sentiments  ::

Trinity (7):  Unexpectedly walks over to me in the kitchen, and wraps her arms around my waist, curling in for a snuggly hug.  I stop, and HUG.

She says, "Mom you make the best love ever.  I love your love."  And hugs me tighter, purring.  She adds, "When I think of mothers and daughters, I think of your love."



Treya (5):  Sends me a text message (with the help of her big sister):

From Treya.  I CAN SPELL!    car hot dog pears owwww!  cold lightening one two three.  I, LOVE YOU, MOMMY!



How lucky am I?!  

.... ok ;-)  Puppy Love!





We welcomed True to our home last week..... an early holiday surprise!  He's only a few pounds, a Toy Schnauzer pup.  He'll max out around 8-10lbs.  A mini- mutt ;-)

We are still getting to know him... so the name(s) are temporary and numerous (and we have songs/ tunes that go with most of them):
True
TrueMan
TrueP  (sounds like troop... for True Pup, True Playboy... and Treya -5- says True Pooper ;-)
Shug D
Parti Pup  (he's a Parti, refers to his multi-coloring.  He's a liver Parti, quite rare).
T-Rex  (refers to his Piranha kisses ;-Ouch!

Yes, you can tell we are short on love and creativity in our house  <ha!>

I fell in love with you
at first it was your strength
your confidence your direction
your Jack Nicholson
humor and disposition

I fell in love with your mind
what intrigued you, inspired you
I fell in love with your passion
your body your grace your movement

I fell in love with your risk
your attentiveness
your sociability

I fell in love with the little boy
the one I saw in the photos
when I looked deeply in your eyes
I fell in love with the hurt
and the best that you could do at the time

I fell in love with the understanding
and in the wanting
to hold your hand, your heart
I fell in love with the healing
the partnership, the dance

I fell in love with what could be
the dreams the vision the allure
the taste of what we could be
when it showed up in the moment

I fell in love with the God
that I saw in you, felt through you
the awe, the calm
the striking click of how we fit

I fell in love with you
past present and future


So no surprise
I fell hard when it
Fell apart

 

 

I now understand my preoccupation with
Death Dying Cancer Survivorship
a few years ago.
I went with my inspiration, the pull
and also wondered why... there was no evidence,
no current situation calling for it

I know now that it prepared me
for my transition of the last year
Our relational cancer got the better of us
I was being prepped to let go

Our counselors, classes, workshops
practices, talks , friends, family
They all attended to a PIECE of the puzzle
We were busy
owning and holding
loving and requesting
fighting and resenting
bleeding and withering
gasping and dying

We lost the fight.

But I didn't.  I'm still here....  

I have found liberation in the loss
I feel Life again,
openness, possibility, wakefulness

Before this death, it was defined

Shadowboxing in a cage
Choke holds, grappling
depletion effort
ringing bell, discordant
we prided ourselves on our endurance

An unattended past
sabotaging the process
infiltrating the structure
our future at ransom
Invited and welcome
thanks to our arrogance, fear and reluctance

1992- 2006
may we rest in peace
and never forget that
past present and future
our here in the NOW

a divine trine
holy wholly

With its unique layout, the TEMPTRESS boasts a grand dual staircase connecting the interior decks which ...complements the stunning glass-enclosed atrium.

* Onboard you will find a permanent hardwood dance floor, a state-of-the-art sound system, and large panoramic ...windows.


;-)

 

I'm a lost cause
and I can be ok with that

I've had my time, I've had my run
when I think about now until the end
there are many things that i want to do
but in the grand scale of things
my time is done

its time to lift my daughters high
teach them strength and skill,
courage and sight
all these they'll need for flight

im committed to legacy
not my legacy but to the
Legacy of Life
stepping on top of my shoulders
and reaching further

and my feet are rooted
rooted in the respect and understanding
of those who walked before
all those who stumbled before
on this one planetary ground
as there is no more

im beaten and bruised
worn and weary
and tired of being something different
im not young,  im not old
dreary

im caught in between
maybe i could act young, stay young
but not old enough to be talking about being done?
thats uncomfortable afterall
shhhh

a life well lived
cram some more in there, what about YOU?
unlived dreams, career, enlightenment

im tired
trying to keep the balls in the air
raising two daughters
who have a whole life ahead to bare

why cant a mother be enough?

you think
i live for and through my children
you think
she has nothing to offer of herself

and i challenge you
wrong
i say
i am familiar and intuit
the cycles
and my cycles welcome
quiet wisdom and silly wonder
and engagement
willing to risk, look foolish
stand

my arms are both for welcoming
the return
as well as for scooting
the hesitant

i am here because i know better
a few steps ahead of some, one
part of the chain leading a way

i humor myself to think
im close enough to see in front of me
to keep the line moving
turning to offer ease
understanding, encouragement to another

im a lost cause, its not about me
how will we continue on
who will continue forward
what will follow
what is our legacy

i wonder

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

falling asleep tonight with a cheery grin on my face
dreaming of prancing, twirling, laughing and skipping
high fives, oh yeahs, and hip hip hoorays!

a year has passed....

dignity in the ditch, clipped wings, stomped spirit
have faded into story, reminiscent, debugged
its been an arduous journey, driven towards healing

~discernment, integrity, determination as mantras

~centered, clean, clear, the cocoon no longer fits

~wings, spirit, self: reformed, transformed, be-warned!

yes tonight i fall asleep....
another opportunistic obstacle behind me
empowered, emboldened, impressively eager
teasing, inviting, the next unfolding


now i rest in the calm of confidence,
smug within samsara's sanctuary
drifting, dreaming, diving, decadent
i sleep.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

10 years on a mountaintop.... strenuous spirit strangling practice....  mud, malnourished, holding on, twisting to connect with sustenance...
the lotuses are blooming
overwhelming, thawing, flooding, flowing
an ice age bears its first spring

song, poetry, celebration, LIFE
unstoppable, insistent, dancing
pulsing
something has cracked
canyon like
million years in the making
grain by grain
step by step
cracked wide open
your heart, my heart, our heart

can you feel it?
lets tickle the galaxies edges
infiltrate every cell, every movement, every reflection
a kalidakiniscope of bliss
poignant rays touching you

raining lotus blossoms
with no end in sight
raining lotus blossoms
reigning